I never actually had any desire to take any character's heads off. For me it was more complicated: women were always prettier than me, and as I mentioned in an autobiography coming up, I had ill feelings of being unsure of whether I was really turned on by girls or wanted to be them, and that my own toxic lust was a product of inner jealousy.
A lot of my issues with women have settled down quite a bit, so know you won't have to worry about anyone to scary to date. I still a bit a lot of PTSD from thinking I was once a necrophiliac (turned out it was a neck and head fetish instead, but I like my girlfriend's alive.) But as I mentioned, this kind of mentally fucked me up for life.
I spent so long thinking I was an awful person.
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