Wattpad using cross site harassment

This is why you should avoid using Wattpad period, these people like this blog take peoples words out of context and use cross website harassment in order to intimidate people.

Book woop if it gets deleted. I would have done it a long time ago.

Why Steampunk bugs me,

Or really why science fiction from the 21st century bugs me. It seems to evolved into this direction of technology that is literally impossible and impractical to actually build, and such stories focus to much on the technology rather than plot and character.

Back when 1984 was written, even if I consider a shit book, at least at that point in time it focused on plot and character, even though the characters themselves were largely forgettable. But in this wattpad era, it's like people have this idea that technology is what makes a story.

I like me cute girls in clogs.

Beau En Boston by OtisSalmoneus on @DeviantArt http://otissalmoneus.deviantart.com/art/Beau-En-Boston-642245413

Use Wattpad, Avoid The French

Disclaimer: This discussion has been worth having since I started having issues with the French, and not for the Far Right conservative reasons. Before acting like a projecting shit bag, keep in mind this mainly has to do with French-Americans, French-Canadians, et actual French who inhabit the Wattpad social sphere. Don’t assume I’m talking about anyone outside of this sphere unless I say otherwise. This will save you heart ache and misunderstanding. If you choose to read it anyway, it’s not my fault your feelings are hurt.

If I seemed pissed off, keep in mind I’ve been living with an actual Francophobe projecting their problems onto me for the last ten months.

I was working on The Incarnations Of Hemato Tomato And Anna-Marie. At the time I was experiencing some unresolved negative feelings about French girls based on my experiences with girls from the fifth grade. Though now I understand why the girl said it, she could have saved a lot of words by just saying I was ugly-cute. But the thing about French people et English, even if they learn English the tendency to be wordy doesn’t really melt away. For this as the context, let go into my experience with Wattpad.

Wattpad lately has become like Tumblr. You know what I mean, for anyone that has used Tumblr for any extensive amount of time. For example SJWs that are just as racist and bigoted as the people they fight against. Things like saying eating Chinese food is racist, ou that Trans women can’t be raped, only sexually assaulted. The list goes on in the Tumblr sphere. I don’t really use it that much largely do to this toxic environment. Wattpad has become increasingly like this, et en fact the moderators have the same kind of Laissez-Fair approach to general SJW hypocrisy.

It is in this environment, just like that one writing board I left a long time ago, that I was offered help by a French girl for researching for my novel. Anyone who knows the French, knows they’ll never fulfill a contract if there is one written. And when their is, don’t ever expect to here back from them. Wattpad makes this interaction even worse: not only is there an influx of French speaking people, again nothing wrong with the French language--bare this in mind, but Private Messages aren’t even time stamped.

This leads to misunderstandings if you send a lot of messages with over 24 hours in between them. But you still get treated like you’re spamming them with messages. If there was a rule in the amount of messages to send, this sure as hell wasn’t written in their terms of service. The user base is horrible: they might go without talking to you for a month, and even if you only send messages once a week you they dump a landfill on you by suddenly saying They lost someone they loved, so please “be comprehensible.”

Please understand, if you don’t want to help me whenever I ask, if you don’t want me liking you as an individual, then please don’t offer to help me. I can help myself about things, as I certainly would let YOU know if I’m going to be gone for a month do to an unexpected family situation. This is basic Social 101. You bet I wouldn’t be sending you messages in this time, how many Tumblr people can you name that I “spam” messages to on Tumblr?

Exactly, not a single one.

And yet it is in this environment, inflated with French people, of a very French-American kind of culture with their sense of personal entitlement that causes misunderstandings about things. There is a time to “Flirt like a French girl.” That time isn’t when you help someone research a book. Particularly in text form, this can be easily misinterpreted as genuine feeling for someone.

I think when I move to France, I think I may only hire Belgians and Luxemborgish people. At least maybe they might have a little bit of common sense when interacting with an author.

Oh I'm trying,

To learn French by studying music...

I also don't even understand English lyrics--and that's my native tongue.

Really getting tired

Of Wattpad.

Sure there isn't MPD,

But Katie is really really bad about switching between "I want to argue right now" mode and "salaam ben uda" meditation mode. You never really know what her temperament is going to be like.

I'm going to start going to coffee shops more just so I don't have to be around that. Tomorrow going to focus on typing my stories at Starbucks instead of at home as I need to.

To those considering tutoring...

I have a very particular kind of mindset. I learn best after learning the basic vocabulary, having someone else if slightly higher skill actively communicating with me, and correcting me when I slip up. And I most definitely will.

Frankly I'm not even sure if there are forums to learn French, and the thing about Wattpad is some may know French but their humor is also very French.

Time Away From Katie

Do you realize how god damn relaxing that is? She likes to argue simply for sake for baiting you into an argument.

People Seem To

People seem to get this idea that just because England hung, drew, and quarter people that somehow makes The Guillotine more humane. Meanwhile the rest of Europe bans the death penalty.

Just So You Know

I'm not trying to creep you out when I say it. I just really get a lady erection when a cute brunette or blond wears birkenstocks. Dark brown as well.

The only exception is dark skinned Romanians. Those are the girls I want to have dirty bare feet.

For foot jobs obviously, what were you thinking?

That Explains So Much!

That suddenly explains so much about my disdain and hate-fuck tendencies toward the French.

Americans are basically lazy British and French people.

Louisiana does sound sexier with a womans accent cut by a guillotine now. I still don't advocate the Guillotine.

Pro Death Penalty Is Pro Rape

Death Penalty Is Pro Rape

If we as a society executed a woman for poisoning a husband who was habitually having sex with her without her consent, and habitually beating her as well, then as society by decapitating her we are saying that we are essentially pro rape.

When you have Anna-Marie Boeglin, who was continuously raped by her father, and also gang raped by her brothers after being drugged with wine, we end up as a society saying--it's OK to decapitate you if you are raped. Luckily she ended up being acquitted, but not so for another case where the lady had merely attempted to kill her mother.

If you think this is an abnormal occurrence with whom is decapitated by guillotine, lets keep in mind that serial murder was not the regular occurrence in the 1800s. Most cases were like the above.

Also a note on Albert Camus.

Albert Camus also notes that most murders in France involved situations where the person has been inebriated with alcohol as well.

He actually makes an additional argument that is interested, that capital punishment is possibly the most pre-meditated of all the murders. That you will not find any other murderer who tells their victim a specific date they will be decapitated, and leave them to have this rummage in their thoughts.

The flaw in this argument is if the prisoner didn't know they were to be beheaded, and were blind folded before decapitation that it would ruin the argument moot.

Luckily he uses common sense, and remarks on deterrence as well.

Difference between historical and historical futurism.

Historical Futurism – Fiction designed to be tightly based on history, yet being juxtaposed into the present day or future in order to highlight the duality between how inhumane society once was and how humane we have become for purpose of furthering human rights. Love interests are generally French criminals—often murderesses, mirror the tragedy of their original lives.

Historical: In such and such date, a young girl murders her father in crime of passion, and after investigation she is found guilty and beheaded.

Historical Futuristic: In two minutes from the present, a young girl (modeled after historical murderess) will attempt to kill her father to stop him from raping her. Let us look back at a historical similar case, and try to estimate the most humane alternative to what has happened in earlier cultures. Let us propose an alternative to the ultimate punishment in this futuristic case.

Another Wattpad Note

Another note on Wattpad. Even if your work is Shakespeare (and I assure even one direction books are better), the likelihood of your work even being seen on there is insurmountably small.

This has nothing to do with the quality of your writing, and no matter how much promotion you do this will not change. It takes up a large portion of the self-publishing climate, and the books are so many that even if your writing quality were amazing your work will still not be seen.

I'd get as much results putting my work up on my blog, so that's what I will be doing for now on.

The results of reading on Wattpad is deliberately skewed in my opinion.

Why Capital Punishment?

Because let she who was personally wronged fire the first bullet. They aren't shooting a thing.

Lets wipe out humanity instead. After all humans are fundementally evil. So lets seriously annihilate humanity.

This can be a long time process of course. But lets kill humanity. But eventually there can be only be left.

Sorry, you count as a human. You are ireedeemable.

Blog Refocus

Going to switch my blog to serializing The Incarnations Of Hemato Tomato.

Two Understandings

Apparently according to a White American girl I room with, apparently the European's understanding of racism is hatred of anything not their nation. But then she goes on to say the American's definition of the word racism is also technically correct.

She deliberately confuses that conversation about Race, so I can't win in any conversation with her about Race. She wants to be the one always

America Is Fucking ... Weird

France has it's problems with like making it where only men are beheaded. Here is something France has going for it.

The American definition of the word racism translates roughly to literally hating another person of another race.

Katie (my room mate) jumps the gun and says talking about French girls and Frog legs is racist.

Keep in mind my issue with Frog legs has nothing to do with French girls. It has to do with the fact that seafood was almost never fresh in Tennessee. So girls pretty much ... like never liked seafood.

So when I find a blond girl that, despite my issue with blonds, likes seafood ... it's almost kind of sexy and can override my mommy issues I have for blond girls. (Why were you thinking I had issues with blonds?)

But in like Seattle/Tacoma, you can pretty much get fresh seafood cause you're like right beside the shore.

Katie ignores this nuance in our conversations.

It's clear Katie is not a smart girl. She has not understanding of the word racism. She has as much understanding of the word racism as some people I know on Tumblr.

Say what you want about the French people and the death penalty, at least they have fresh seafood.

My World's Meta-Narrative

This is the order my books come in:

UPLOADED FAIRY SAGA

Twenty Three Decades

Nymphs Of Winter Fire
The Hatchling Song
Hemato Tomato
Meadow Of Gold
Vella Clocktime

Simply Pace (Semi-Autobiographic Fiction)

The Almost Last Dance Of Emma -- Part One
The Desires Of Pace -- Part Two
The Stagnant Future Of Pace -- Part Three
The Immortality Of Pace -- Part Four (Stand Alone Book)

UPLOADED FAIRY GAIDEN (Side Story)

Hemato Tomato

Hemato Tomato
Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun
Sexless Deviant

Stand Alone

Beyond The Dreamer's Edge

Does anyone know,

Why this cute child actress grown up has this really weird issue with me? Like I unfollowed her as she seems to have this thing about having her followers like hate stalk me for some reason.

I don't get the hate, from my understanding she's Irish something (possibly Jewish Irish, actually a really big thing for me), and I'm not French. Although I have tended to have Tsunderes all my life.

So there isn't a real reason for us not getting along. I don't mean follow for follow, but like mutually respecting each other.

Yes I'm Scots-Irish. Wow though her contemporary, she has grown up hot. And they picked her for Harriet.

I look at actresses in a weird way, as I had briefly considered acting. But decided ultimately against the idea. And besides, I'm not going to be a Scots-Irish gender ambiguous playing in a French role. They parody themselves enough as it is.

I don't understand people,

You seriously got to deliberate be trying to misunderstand what I'm saying to not get the point I'm making sometimes.

But no it's not that they don't understand, it's the fantasy and science fiction do not care to understand.

That's ... a ... big difference.

I Write For Myself, So Should You

I met some severe hack writers that say don't write for yourself on Wattpad. Between the lines what's really going on is they actually write for them self themselves, and don't really want to admit it.

Which is fine, keep plugging in your denial. Notice what specific genre I'm critiquing when I say plugging in?

Oh man,

When you become so bored with Wattpad, right after masturbating to a cute trap on Sankaku Channel. No I would still say I'm bisexual, and yes I'm aware some might view it as hypocritical as a trans woman. Keep in mind just cause I'm lesbian doesn't mean I won't fuck boys who look like girls that aren't trans women per say.

Blonds in ponytails and Birkenstocks are still my primary kink. All other stuff like guillotines secondary.

There is Queen Bitch,

And then there are French girls. That's like the Roman Catholic Church of bitches. At least this one was.

If you're going to get onto me,

About having disdain for French girls, you better be god damn genuine about it. I mean talk about disregarding my traumas, while overly regarding your own issues with Australians and Kiwis.

I'd rather suck on a god damn kiwi any day. The French girls I knew were passive aggressive fucking god damn shits. Although looking at their government history, I guess it's no surprise.

But me and French girls, yea I had issues with them since 5th grade. I mean talk about disregarding a whole life of trauma now. There is nothing more passive aggressive than that dark hair hair and those demonic red eyes.

And no, it wasn't a French girl who raped me. That was a Portuguese girl, and even then it wasn't her fault.

But there is something deeply rooted wrong, when every French girl I've known was like "Well you're not cute, but you're not REAL ugly." Same to you chicken necks! You're not unattractive, but you're not real attractive. At least personality wise.

Room mate brings up my traumas, and expects me to like not get into a god damn panic attack over it.

People Just Have This Belief

That people (even if girls) perceived as male don't get raped. OK explain my two molestations by strangers, fourteen by my dad, times my tits were squeezed by my first best friend, him pretending to suck my cock, and him essentially coercing my first female acquaintance on me. Keep in mind this was arranged, she would not have been my choice.

It's also not her fault, so please don't be an asshole to her. Be an asshole to my first best friend that betrayed me.

Keep in mind the previous post was why I moved to Seattle/Tacoma to begin with, to disassociate myself from my male self, and essentially start my life afresh.

CMWEOLAIVRATLEGSELRISSNFVEMRNWMABGAESAAYFTTNAOUIYB

Question On Autobiographical Content

No my work is not autobiographical in the sense of "things that have happened", so much as some stories representing subconscious desires and fears I've had growing up. Except possibly with the exception of Beyond The Dreamer's Edge and Simply Pace and my poetry.

Even then it's better think of it as percent autobiography rather then true autobiography.

There are various reasons I will never write my true autobiography. Most of it has to do with things I'd rather keep secret until I write it for publication after I am dead, like things I've done in high school that embarrassed me. Pressing me for these details at Blackman High School (Murfreesboro, Tennessee), will most likely just make me freeze up and refuse completely.

I had went by John Matthew Guffey then, but that's not my name and was never really me to begin with. Don't misunderstand, for those who went to that school, that's not why I transitioned rather it was symptomatic of my sex abuse I had while abused by my parents.

But I apologies for all those I hurt. Never meant to make you cry. This is possibly the one thing, if I could do my YA years over again I wouldn't do. But sometimes your life experience shapes your perspective.

Just not sure if changing it would change my perspective. For me time travel has never been an aspect of wish fulfillment, it would be more of a psychological study on regret.

Before you ask, no I never raped anyone. Shove up transphobes. I'm not going to be your shining example of why trans people are evil. No TJ raped me and a friend, and had that friend raped me.

But it wasn't her fault, he made her do it.

My Own Issues

I never actually had any desire to take any character's heads off. For me it was more complicated: women were always prettier than me, and as I mentioned in an autobiography coming up, I had ill feelings of being unsure of whether I was really turned on by girls or wanted to be them, and that my own toxic lust was a product of inner jealousy.

A lot of my issues with women have settled down quite a bit, so know you won't have to worry about anyone to scary to date. I still a bit a lot of PTSD from thinking I was once a necrophiliac (turned out it was a neck and head fetish instead, but I like my girlfriend's alive.) But as I mentioned, this kind of mentally fucked me up for life.

I spent so long thinking I was an awful person.

Question On Age Of Adeline,

Is this a Wattpad original feature film, or did it start out in Hollywood first? I know it's pretty different content wise from a lot of the romance things that come out in motion pictures.

The only exception to that is this excellent romance (if you remember the movie, please leave it in the comments) about this writer guy that imagines his girlfriend into existence. His girlfriend was also a writer as well I think.

That ... was excellently weird. It helped the guy was definitely dorky cute.

Oh and also, first female protagonist I didn't hate so much I wanted to take her head off. That's an accomplishment!

If you haven't already,

Check out the cute Yuri bots on Twitter. :D

I try to avoid feeling sad when I see pretty ladies with guillotine cuts. D: That's a waste of a pretty ladies neck.

Vampires have it right man.

Never said I wasn't morally gray. I just think decapitation is sexy, even though I don't actually advocate the practice.

People are complicated.

Unjust Kings

There is no angel in the real life,

There are no guardians to keep you safe.

You only have yourself to trust,

As you hold onto your very bust.

So don’t trust in me, trust in you.

Or else reality will spank you with a shoe,

If reality had not done so already.

It’s the real life, are you ready?

Sometimes the whack takes many forms,

Like insects crawling up your hair,

Hiding in your very unwashed hair.

As you reel with disgust at yourself.

Would you rather lose your head,

Or bow down to unfair kings instead.

I May Have To

Choose either writing blog posts and have internet or write chapters for Portrait Of Pace. I can't do both cause my room mate really really fucking snores a crap ton.

Portrait Of Pace

Still going to wait for part two. Was trying for middle grade, but yea. Didn't work out so well. As you can see it's been a while since I wrote Nymphs Of Winter Fire.

Hemato Tomato: A Horror Romance (Excerpt)

 Married In Death (Part One)

"Can we just decapitate that one, she's French. Leave my son alone. He's not French." It was the words my dad uttered in order to save my life, but on some level I felt responsible for not dying beside my true love. My dad was misgendering his only daughter about to die under the widow gun, the gun of the guillotine.

It was then I remembered the memory I had before we both got caught, and were threatened by decapitation.

"Waste of energy, just slit their throat. A few seconds, it's all over." It was a feeling I wasn't used to having before. All my worries, all my fears. It was all coming to an end. I felt I was about to die. I remembered it was Borges that said the statement, yet it was a desperation statement I hung onto after she died. It was a reality I turned turned to, when I thought of those who hurt my Anna-Marie.

"It's OK papa. Don't worry now, this will only hurt for a second." The sound of a young girls laughter. Then everything fell silent. Everything came to an end. "What's wrong Hemato, why are you so scared. Why are you so erect. Hemato, get away from me. You're scaring me."

"You're the one that stabbed your father." I said.

She gave me a look she was was heartbroken, forlorn. She didn't want to see me like this, on some level ... she wanted to protect me from herself. "Hold me Hemato. Please don't hurt me. I don't know what's happening to me. I feel like I haven't been myself lately. I normally hide the real me from you. I'm sorry. I failed you."

They spared me that day, but not my Anna-Marie.

"I understand if you hate me for killing him, but you're the one jacking off to me losing my head." A common misunderstanding of my condition, one that set my last days with her forward. I don't like it when people die, I simply have an attraction to other people's blood. "I don't ever want to see you again."

And she never got the chance to, the bladed widow took her life. We were merely kids then, her being seventeen and I was nineteen. At first I thought that our love, chosen by the stars, would last forever. I suppose I was wrong. At times I felt my life had never started at all, and I would not be here if not for James.

"There is so much in life to live for. Don't stand on the edge." I lived my life constantly on edge, and yet he wanted me off of it. He did not quite understand the depth of my disorder, and my guilt. But he truly wanted to make me happier.

He knew that I felt I had failed her, and yet when I tried to take my own life months before, he stood beside me and comforted me. Although I was a lesbian, and he was straight, I found some attraction in him that was different from the one love I had for Anna Marie. He wore a pair of stylish virtual reality goggles, and would toggle different aspects on his analogue computer. It was like completely changing cultures. I was lower middle class, and yet found myself in the grasp of Steam-punks.

Society still has a long way to go before accepting sanguophilia--or in more scientific terms Hematolagnia. I earned the nick name Hemato as a reference among friends. Homato Tomato, the dark red sauce of life at its end. The attraction of blood, as the world believes you are attracted to acts of cruelty.

And yet I am apposed to death and execution.

Before I had met her I went through my whole life wracked with guilt. My original assumption was that I was interested in beheaded girls, and not just their blood. This caused uneasy relationships among friends, who always treated me as secretive. But in a world where homosexuality becomes increasingly accepted into mainstream society, people that actually have paraphilias are left in the dust.

I am a blend of metal and flesh, the rusted robot of our time.

As I come to terms with my own humanity.

I am unassuming, some might saying extremely so. Some other may find me raving mad, it depends largely on who you talk to. We all live in our own personal controversies, and yet there is nothing more sacred than the blood of life, it's fluid the power and give and take your life away in an instant.

 

Me and Ann would have frog legs for dinner, and French bakery bread. For me the only positive thing to really say about the French were fashion and food. And yet here we were supporting the French at the edge of the world of massive advertisements and general ubiquitousness. As ubiquitous as the fascination for blood.

When I saw the blade drop through her neck, I found myself having a mixture of different emotions. Although certainly this was not the start of my sexual attraction to blood. I felt a mix of attraction and repulsion I couldn't explain. There was some unspoken rule of not going up and hugging her decapitated head.

I merely hug and consume the bread of life.

Beyond the dreamer's edge, I find myself in a strange fantasy world of overgrown leaves. A world where there was still childhood, and the sacredness of youth was still there. In the darkest corner of the human mind, I found myself alone and wandering the dark. I could hear the giggles and the music box melody of Anna Marie's favorite children's song. Like an old fashioned country song.

I found her hug me tightly, as if apologetically. And yet no words were spoken between me and here, there was simply love in the here after. And yet like Edgar Allen Poe's Annabelle Lee I found she was a child and I was a child in this game of life and death. I found in my own personal dream world self hate and pity. And yet I knew that her life was worse.

I had known that her father would beat her senselessly, although reluctantly at first. Isn't that how all child killers are born? And yet, and yet I became more like James. As the images of me and Anna Marie were kissing as my vision faded into the world of darkness. The darkness of the burnt out light bulb.

I remember seeing her hobble along the road as she walked in her wooden shoes, another aspect I grew to obtain called finding wooden clogs kinky. There was something in her poverty, and in her despair I found someone I could try to make happier. And at first this effort seemed to be working. We were both runaways.

She was now a runaway from life.

And yet I find that I long to be with her again, and on some level I cared not if it would effect James. As surely the courts would find him not guilty. And so I climbed to the stairs that led to forever.

I tossed myself into the night.

I am now in the embrace of my own true love, my darling Anna Marie. And this love beyond mortal life, we life a new life of star-crossed lovers.

My dying vision, as I fade into forever. Then I wake up from the dream.

I tell James I will be going far away forever, that I'll miss him.

Author note: Has since been expanded into a novelette. The world is set in a Guillotine Western, an era of the US dominated by French Imperialism, and primarily takes place in Northwest 21st century.

It's direct sequel is Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun. 

I hate the nineties,

It came out with movies like Legend Of Galgameth. Then it came out with great work like Grandia ... which still had that Boy saves Girl formula. It just seemed like the nineties were pushing back against:

1. Homosexuality becoming the norm.
2. Women having increasingly important roles.
3. Trying to especially limit womens roles to damsels in distress.

No wonder I got my thing for female decapitation in that era. I was rationalizing it in my mind as female empowerment.

I still kind of like female decapitation ... in fiction. Although for an entirely different set of reasons. Seeing female stereotypes getting it in the neck just feels satisfying for a Soft Butch like myself.

They weren't even wearing Birkenstock! Not an equality depiction at all.

Like if men can be beheaded on screen, lets behead the women on screen. Or better yet let's ban the death penalty completely, then you have true equality for everyone.

And yes I really do prefer to end the death penalty. Don't let my fascination with women's neck and heads deceive you. Plus leave it to the 80s and 90s. lets make every girl threatened by beheading especially beautiful and cute as well.

Come on horny lady cock, you're not helping the conversation. God damn it.

Plot Devices

I'm beginning to find common patterns in my work: the girl who is older stuck feeling like kid from psychological abuse, and the impact of someone's death long after they are gone.

Not sure how this will effect Portrait Of Pace.

My Fake Smile

Trusting others is an important thing,

Yet so few choose to take the path.

When one is ignored as nothing,

It’s easier to say no thing at all.

Because on some level I don’t want others to know,

Just how truly broken I really am.

Behind the smile, one sees no joy I’ve ever had,

In a really, really long while.

Everything is merely a sham.

One could relive childhood, relive memories,

Yet for me that means reliving things, anxieties

I have long wanted to forget, distant memories

Of times scattered and shattered.

For me an autobiography is impossible,

When I say so much about me and more in my pages,

Although I don’t write about mages,

I write about the magic of my broken life.

The life of someone with barely any memories,

Of those earlier times.

Even when,

You you survive your third use of comet (and no, the intent isn't to get high, though you sure do) you never really feel quite the same again after using it. Sometimes my tummy has inexplicable aches.

Sexless Deviant

A new short story is out. Originally called The Girl With The Brown Pigtails, marks her story before her decapitation.

Why I Don't Write Science Ficton

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Waiting%20for%20the%20other%20shoe%20to%20drop

At least not anymore. Science fiction in the best, at least in the television scene (books are different with the whole cyberpunk thing) was the general optimistic feel that's ... just god damn fucking unpleasant.

Katie is welcome to "thrive on optimism" all she likes. But for me, with science fiction I pretty much wait for a whole other set of ten other shoes to drop after one of them.

Usually by a hangman's noose. Or a guillotine.

When you're molested by two school kids when you're seven, strangled by your principle and father, molested by your father, unapologetically have other kinds of verbal abuse done to you other shoes to drop is kind of a reasonable thing to fucking expect.

I especially distrust complements.

When speculative fiction is just so overbearingly optimistic, it's actually kind of a little bit mentally sick.

Hello Disney channel, kind of giving kids completely the wrong idea about the world.

All You Need To Know

French Girls: Hate Fuck
Dutch Girls: Love Fuck
German Girls: Will fuck but be careful.

I will fuck some German girls, I generally look at them as in between French and Dutch emotionally. The only negative side of the Dutch are their bluntness. As long as you have a solid liberal one, it's Golden.

I think I'd only fuck a French girl on a guillotine frankly.

Exposing kink,

I seem to have a lot of ladies in Jesus sandals in Simply Pace. I wonder why that could be. No I'm not subtle about having a thing for soft butches, dutch girls, and previously before feeling betrayed ... French girls. The shoes mostly, French girls are forgettable mostly. Yea ... southern darker Dutch people pretty much. No really, I scour Seattle for ladies in birkenstocks a bit. I've just gotten more subtle about it.

Christne, Christine

Why haven't you cooked my dinner yet, Christine! Don't tell me you weren't thinking the guys wouldn't be that misogynistic in Phantom Of The Opera. Remember it is France, in the late 1800s. Oh and they still beheaded women. Yes. So people they treated like children were guillotined. How's that for a creepo nation? No I never got the allure of France like Wattpad literary fiction community seems to. The Netherlands was more my thing. Pretty ... ladies ... in ... wooden shoes. Swoon. Francophilia to me would be like Tennesse-o-philia. I don't get it. Tennessee are rednecks. I know, I lived there. In France, they are more literally rednecks. Will beheading elsewhere. Give me klompen, I will burn those Sabots in a god damn fire.

Simply Pace

Dualty Of Centuries

https://splintercultgirl.wordpress.com/

I'm entirely,

Uncertain what my future is as a writer. I know I'm eventually going to be switching back to middle grade kid lit--just with gorier alternate history with more Guillotines.

Mostly likely I'll be writing stories like Duality Of Centuries. Which the lower class sector situated in the 19th century French/Dutch reality district, while the moderns are the American/Canadians.

My Reader Demographics

My readers are between ages 25-35 with generally a 57% female demographic. 

14% of these readers come from Canada and Australia. Not a large enough percentage for any kind of marketing strategy, possibly because half of that 14% speaks French.

It's so weird as I used to think of myself as writing for teen boys.

No in fact,

While I sexually prefer women, you're going to have to earn my trust for me to be willing to risk being emotionally broken by you again. Sure men are more likely to decapitate or slit your throat lustfully, but they can't emotionally break me like a woman can.

With historical women, you can explore their characters in a safe way. You don't have to worry about rejection.

I feel like I don't need the middle man called woman.

Sleeping On The Ground: For me and Anna-Marie Boeglin,

I can empathize her plight, I to have felt at times worth poisoning my parent-for me it was my mom. Though I never got around to it, mainly cause I was always not committal.

Yet poisoning myself three times wasn't so hard.

I wanted to punish myself.

I wanted to punish myself for the thoughts and desires to see women's heads fall off their bodies, I wanted to punish myself for mistakes I've made. I was ready to fall and give way to the new.

I wanted to suffer the pain families went through that lost daughters. I wanted to be there beside them, comforting them in the darkness. I would experience whatever pain to set me free.

I wanted to no longer be.

But I didn't want to have friends die. I simply had been a neck and head partialist all this time.

Didn't stop mom from treating me as murderer destined.

She had her own problems.

I may have had trouble loving others, trusting others. Yet it was always me

It's so good to have friends help you in public when you're down and dizzy, when life puts you in a tizzy.

I blushed resting in her embrace.

When Tacoma makes you want to sleep on the ground.

For I still spasm and startle after all these years.

Refinished Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun

The final non edited version of Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun.

Finished Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun

To celebrate getting a LitReads award, I present you the finished version of Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun. Now with more zombies romance lovers with their heads sewn back on.

Fated Girl Society (Ruby Nerd Exclusive)

This is the source code for Fated Girl Society. A short silly BDSM text adventure where you can control their fates. You can assign their names, and determine their fates.

I started preferring these over human interaction at times. People that already know me are aware I'm anti-death penalty, so I'm not going to waste breath explaining my views here.

Name your ruby file fatedgirlsociety.rb

# Name variables.

print " Dream Girl: "
$dream_girl = gets.chomp

print " Yandere: "
$yandere_girl = gets.chomp

print " Tsundere: "
$tsundere_girl = gets.chomp

# Variable for endgame.
$endgame_one = false
$endgame_two = false
$endgame_three = false

class Start_Society
 
  def initialize
    puts " Welcome to society, we would like you to meet: "
    puts ""
    puts " Dream Girl: #{$dream_girl}"
    puts " Yandere: #{$yandere_girl}"
    puts " Tsundere: #{$tsundere_girl}"
    puts ""
    prompt_display
  end
 
  def prompt_display
    puts " You are given a choice between guillotining, paddling, and dating"
    puts " one girl for each result."
    puts ""
    puts "   w  "
    puts " a   d"
    puts ""
    puts " w = behead dream girl, paddle yandere, date tsundere."
    puts " a = behead yandere, date dream girl, paddle tsundere."
    puts " d = behead tsundere, date dream yandere, paddle dream girl."
    puts ""
    print " What would you like to do?: "
    input_choice
  end
 
  def input_choice
    fate = gets.chomp
    if fate == 'w'
      puts $endgame_one = true
    elsif fate == 'a'
      puts $endgame_two = true
    elsif fate == 'd'
      puts $endgame_three = true
    else
      puts " Unrecognized command."
      wait = gets.chomp
      prompt_display
    end
    Dream_Girl.new
  end
 
end

class Dream_Girl
 
  def initialize
    display_statement
  end
 
  def display_statement  
    if $endgame_one == true
      puts " Dream Girl: Where did my head go?"
    elsif $endgame_two == true
      puts " Dream Girl: When do you want your lady cock sucked on?"
    elsif $endgame_three == true
      puts " Dream Girl: Ouch! Hit my again master!"
    end
    Yandere_Girl.new
  end

end

class Yandere_Girl

  def initialize
    display_statement
  end
 
  def display_statement
    if $endgame_one == true
      puts " Yandere: I thought you loved me master!"
    elsif $endgame_two == true
      puts " Yandere: All my love for nothing, farewell!"
    elsif $endgame_three == true
      puts " Yandere: Now I have you all by myself."
    end
    Tsundere_Girl.new
  end

end

class Tsundere_Girl

  def initialize
    display_statement
  end
 
  def display_statement
    if $endgame_one == true
      puts " Tsundere: I know I haven't been the most nice to you, but cock suck?"
      puts ""
    elsif $endgame_two == true
      puts " Tsundere: Wow, I guess I shouldn't have expected better!"
      puts ""
    elsif $endgame_three == true
      puts " Tsundere: Why did I have to secretly like you!"
      puts ""
    end
    puts ""
    puts " Thanks for determining our fates!"
    abort
  end

end

Start_Society.new

Oh man ...

If Imelle is going to turn out to be this Yandere (Tsundere is bad enough) I'm going to be like so pissed.

You don't just ask for no contact if someone is trying to help you with something, if one was trying suggest maybe moving their thread to Diaspora, cause (god forbid) you might actually have more privacy.

People that complain about privacy on Wattpad really just want something to complain about to be honest.

I don't take kindly to Anna Wilkes.

What Diaspora is and why it may help you I will go over in a separate blog post as Internet permits.

It's psychotic people like her why I use Diaspora. I have trust issues of my own from being raped by my parents. I don't need some random on-line bitch like her adding to it.

Cyber Sexuality

This happens when you have so little trust in your fellow man, that you're unable to separate the abuse you went through from having sexual/romantic feelings with people.

Often this happens when you go for a long time without dating, and no longer really feel like interacting with girls your age, because you've completely lost interest in natural pussy.

This goes along with low self-esteem obviously, and often cyber sexuality is a way of reclaiming that lost self-esteem. Anime girls are unable to reject/hit/abuse you like real women do.

Not saying that's a good thing, it just kind of happened that way in my case. I guess that makes me a Biromantic Lesbian Cyber Sexual.

Remember that cyber sexuality is not something you can breed out, as it has more to do with trust than genes.

Don't Count On Being An Exception

I'm never going to buy your book if you're French. This has nothing to do with you, but I'm not going to provide your country revenue whose Prime Minister hates disabled people, and your new candidate is a conservative bitch who wants to live the EU.


She's conservative, so she'll probably bring back the guillotine too. And I've gone on at length about how long drop hanging is more humane, if you even want to go that route and not ban capital punishment.


However if you're like the next P.L. Travers, and I think you're cute as a button, I may let you visit me, we can hang out for a coffee. And then send you on your way with your wallet fifteen dollars richer.


But I wont support your government.


You could even be a moderately gifted author and I will make your wallet richer for your novel.

What I'd really like is for you to stay in US and have a family with me instead. I heard I provide excellent head jobs. You would have to be a pretty god damn big hippie though.

Obviously the family bit is unpaid. Just think of it as French tax evasion for selling your book.

Don't count on the head job either, that's a special right for girls I romantically love.

If you're from a previously French occupied country, you're good in all this. Being occupied by imperialists isn't something you can help really, like Russian girls with Stalin. I won't hesitate to give you a head job.

Loving Maddie

It's weird, I may have romantic feelings for my cousin Maddie. But part of loving someone is being willing to show that love by being happy when she finds a boy that's good for her. I just really hope he is good for her.

She's the only girl I had romantic feelings for.

I realize I'm not quashing TN stereotypes. Keep in mind it's not sexual feelings, so keep the moralizing to yourself.

But poor Madelein,

You know my cousin I'm romantically in love with is also named Madeleine, so I can't actually make myself hate the French character for that reason.

Sometimes if you really love someone, you got to be happy they found someone else. It can be quite freeing.

But why did poor Madeleine have to be in France, not Britain?

It does make me wonder, I wonder if the yellow jacket suffers from depression. If she were a little older, like my age ...

Well I am The Satanic Temple. We are liberal, for Satanists. I happen to be an Academic Satanist, which is a cousin branch of singular me.

Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun

A transrealism short story, my final short story for Wattpad. You can find a version on Upliterate: http://www.upliterate.com/story/364/shotgun-anna-marie/

For those who read Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun

You might be confused why I have issues with French girls, but was willing to essentially talk one out of committing suicide in that short story on Upliterate and Wattpad.

This is because talking someone out of suicide and making them feel better out of themselves is something any human should to. I've been there, I've tried poisoning myself three times.

It's not a good mental state to be in.

French individual girls can be amazing, it's that murky area when the people blend with the government it gets kind of scary.

Who doesn't find Madeleine precious?

Morning Poem

There was a grimly nightly inspector,
Who carried around a giant scepter.
For those who fear them, he carries no match,
Yet for those ready to die, they seek to carry them away.

Yet for those in between here and the next,
Who here no more cell phone texts,
There is an an in between, not a spiritual purgatory,
     But Purgatory Road.

Where all dreams come to an end,
And life begins all o'er again in the night.
Where they go to end their lives,
At the point of a gun.

There was a grimly nightly inspector,
Who carried around a giant scepter.
Who can be your relieving angel.

Nature Of Dreaming

My dreams have lately been somewhere in between real and not real. Often the dream world is something my parents could actually conceivably done but have not actually done.

I've told my friend about the dream I had about mom tossing my talking alarm clock that we bought in a gimmicky magazine it took about a year to receive, and how in my dream this talking alarm clock I had once had in the waking world in the dream world was tossed out of the back of the prius out of my mom's anger.

Here is the thing, in my dreams I dream about things people I know could actually do but haven't actually done.

Particularly these days after PTSD.

Why Capital Punishment Should End

Wordpress is so intensive. Blogger is a little easier. I used Blogger to promote Hemato Tomato: Bloodlust.

I find my own trigger borderline issues with the French people actually the very reason I'm against capital punishment in all circumstances.

I find that do to specific traumas I have about French people, I couldn't even serve on a Jury and serve fairly. I have a lot of issue with French people do to what I know about their own capital punishment system.

Did you know they banned beheading for women between 1889-the middle of WWII because of the mere fact they were women? It was revived during the Vicci era, and then banned again sometime around 1955-1956. Yes. Let's add sexism to that decapitation process why don't we. However trans women did not get that benefit do to the nature of trans care. This is why I take the French so personally.

With Italy, France's closest cousin, they actually banned capital punishment completely in 1872 with the exception of the Mussolini era.

But this is why the death penalty needs to not exist, even if you totally eliminated issues of cost and procedural issues, you would still have the bigotry that is so pervasive in the South. I even knew a guy in high school that proposes that Tennessee switch to the guillotine. Instead of like ... banning capital punishment.

I'm trying to work on my issues with the French, it's something I'm wanting to work on. Keep in mind when most French people you've met ... have been God damn scary ... it's hard to separate that out in your mind.

If you're not French,

Or you are French Canadian, consider yourself safe. My issue is probably with authentic French.

Although a different thing, being an Anna Wilkes probably would not be in your best interest either. I've been known to almost pepper spray people who touch their daughters chests.

Think about why that may be, and the lecture me.

Otherwise I'm not longer listening.

Oh I know why France gives their ladies chocolate. I know the very exact reason why France gives their ladies chocolate.

Chocolate good for Americans too.

Fuck subtlety, most people don't get subtlety. They give them chocolate so they're in a better mood before their decapitation.

Writing On Upliterate

http://www.upliterate.com/user/1250/

If you didn't get the news in the feed (I may not have posted it), going to be switching over to this less generally abusive website. It has its problems too, but so far the benefits outweigh the downsides.

Also for those that asked me not to contact them, OK. But I ask you the same courtesy, since I never actually said anything bad. If you do keep at it, I'll pepper spray you till you suffocate.

Problem With Censoring: Repost

The problem with censoring on Wattpad is, often essential ideas about the human condition are unable to be probably communicated in a proper way, and so communicating about topics like Cyber Sexuality are almost impossible do so without coming across as a condescending dick bag.

Because you're constantly trying to adjust words to be palatable to Wattpad staff, that has everything to gain in only allowing discussions of things like standard LGBT topics rather than non-LGBT sexualities like Cyber Sexuality.

Cyber Sexuality -- This is where one through gradual betraying of trust over the years, comes to prefer people in the inter webs and through people substitutes sexual interaction that is impossible through your meat--impossible to perform in person.

It's called a non-LGBT sexuality, because said condition is born out of abuse rather than as a by-product of birth. If you're one to even condone such practice as making trans people never born through pre transitioning.

In which case stop reading my blog now, cause you and I probably don't align in any of our opinions. There are an entire set of reasons this isn't a good idea, like science making a mistake and determining that kid really was meant to be born male and they designed they were female at birth, or in my own case vise versa.

Transition is something the individual must decide, not for science to decide on someone's behalf.

Auto Exporting?

Would be possible to auto google export posts instead of relying on the author to do so? Obviously exporting is how you get views.

Frexit: Or Why I Wasn't Just Being Paranoid

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/marine-le-pen-prepares-for-a-frexit

Notice those words as well, far right. Yea that is something the far right would do, exit a country great for banning capital punishment and and being generally crappy to your world neighbors and LGBT things.

Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun

https://splintercultgirl.wordpress.com/2016/08/02/anna-marie-with-her-shotgun/

Anna-Marie With Her Shotgun is now finished.

Trust Issues

Being another girl does not make me trust you to talk about my problems. If those trust issues come from my mother.

I think my mommy issues,

Makes it hard to really be turned on by other women, unless my avatar in book is chopping their heads off.

But I think that's part of what bothers me about killing those kids in the early eighteen hundred.

How could someone have trust issues about kids.

Like kids are by definition people you can always trust, they are people are that trusting you. You are violating their trust hurting them.

Did I Ever Tell You?

Part of how I developed issues about the French?

Let's scroll back to Middle Tennessee, US.

For starters this was this one guy in high school when I was in Legal class. We were debating the merits of capital punishment, with me--as it so happens--siding amongst the girls of the class, against capital punishment.

So one of the guys, that had this thing about calling me gay. Keep in mind this was the time before I came out as a trans woman, and throughout that time I was often called pretty or feminine, and one of the girls in that class remarked "Why is it always the gay guys that are hot." She didn't mean me specifically, but was most definitely staring at me smiling. Anyone who gets subtext at all knows this usually means she's attracted to you.

So it was in this class I had sided with the girls about being anti-capital punishment. The one guy with the black haired bob cut who seemed like he had more than a few screws loose, said "Hey why don't we do something like what the French do, cut their heads off with a guillotine." And then continued, "So we can get rid of serial killers like *male name"

So right then my impression of anything related to French was generally an air of homophobia.


So then a few years later I found out in fact the French did keep the guillotine until about 1981. Keep in mind this was during the later point of my sexual development.

So I developed this love/hate relationship with the guillotine. On one hand I found it sexy when girls I thought were obviously prettier than me and more likely to score dates than me would be decapitated. I had this evil queen thing going on in regards to French "Snow Whites." Except with a bit more kink in that beheading.

Guillotines have been a love/hate to me for a long time. Have I made my point about the French yet, they're all guillotines?

However recently when I looked up the one page on executed person, it included one boy who was nineteen and a girl who was sixteen, who basically were parent murderers because they were abusing them. Oh yea, both of them were publicly decapitated in the early eighteen hundreds.

So basically anyone who knows me and my relationship with my own parents, knows that I tend to get panic attacks do to physical abuse I was undergoing from my parents.

Well guess what, that means if my parents didn't like rescue my dad from my little panic attack, I could ended up like those two teenagers.

So that just shows how little regard the French have for childhood.

I literally can't think of anything else besides those children now.

I hated the French, I now limited my execution fantasies to them in fiction. Please remember, that doesn't mean I actually advocate killing anyone, thank you very much.

There is nothing worse than a country who hates kids.

I Can't Even,

Figure out if you want to sneak up in front of me and strangle me, why should I trust someone sincerely wants to help?

When you feel like the kid of Travers and Poe,

You end up with characteristics of both sides, and then along with that the self-doubt that comes from comparing one self to an esteemed children's writer and an esteemed poet.

And yet I wasn't a kid of either, I was a kid of nobodies. Very abusive narcissistic nobodies.

But room mate was saying a lot of the important point in my autobiography match up with P.L. Travers.

I guess that's the literary equivalent of taking after your moms side.

But the source of a lot of self-doubt.

For Those Who Want To Help

Please keep in mind the last people that wanted to help me did in such a way as to deliberately induce a mental breakdown.

Maybe if I got to know you a little more, maybe know you wouldn't do that, maybe I could trust a bit more.

But keep in mind I never feel good, every day I'm a hair's breath away from another suicide attempt.

This will be the case till I get professional treatment.

Please handle with care.

Hemato Tomato Expanded

Hemato Tomato has been expanded yet again. Now to included a couple of more chapters. Eventually when I get into the swing of writing again, I'm going to work on the middle grade section portion called--Hemato Wants To Help.


This is about the era of Hemato's heel face turn, and becoming more open to helping girls avoid their untimely doing without necessarily rescuing them self.

Yes I can like decapitation and be a god damn human being.

FF7 Remake

Anyone who knows me as a novella writer, knows a great deal about my writing knows from all the way when I wrote Blood Of Katolinio FF7 was this really big influence of mine. Except insofar as the Aerith death scene, I think that along with like the Lucy death scene were one of the things in the history of Japanese things that sincerely made me sob.


I'm not including Now And Then Here And There, cause honestly if you don't cry from that--you're not a god damn human being. Even my borderline sexually manipulative high school bed mate--cried after watching Now And Then Here And There.

My dad tells me I used to wear my heart on my sleeve. It's not like I don't now, but do to various sex abuse I experienced growing up it makes it really difficult forming attachments to others.

But anyway awkward conversation aside, me and a room mate were discussion we are sincerely hoping FF7 doesn't mess up the trans woman thing about the lady named Big Bro.

Yea something you didn't know about me, that's kind of why you shouldn't judge everyone who has a kink for decapitation by guillotine.

So I found,

This one girl that wrote the book Alsace, I suppose time will tell if she is also interested in French crime. She is however French, so I'm not betting on any kind of friendship. I'm not French, if you didn't notice.

My experience is that French women can't make the distinction between "liking stories about a case" and "like the murders in that case." I'm not sure if that's because English is that language, or they also can't make the distinction culturally between hating the government and the people--which historical haven't been exactly liberal death penalty wise.

I know I'm judging a lot, but when have experiences like I have, you tend to feel justified in those judgments.

No More Twitter Chats

I think I'm stomping my boot down on this one. The last people who ran the previous chat function on twitter about New Adults, was mean as fucking getting out. I think it was that function why I joined wattpad to begin with.

These days I don't pick chat events to participate in lightly. I refuse to participate in further chats where I don't get a modicum of respect. That includes making the distinction between me saying "I like stories about this topic" and thinking I'm saying "I like thing in this topic."

Twitter in particular seems to be infested with people that have everything to gain about making me look bad, so I'm going to say--no. I am ending this once and for all.

For further chat functions, please talk to the hand.

I'm not going to justify my own existence anymore.

Let me qualify again,

I have no issue with French girls as a whole, I have issues with the country of France. This can be very different things.

One guy helped ban the death penalty in 1981, while the country as a whole kept the guillotine until 1981.

Individually, I'd dote on you like you were an age of consent age baby sister. OK that sounded awkward.

There was a post,

By someone in the Wattpad communities section about the topic of crushing. Sure I've had high school crushes, but I also knew I literally had ... no ... chance ... with anyone. After a while you get used to this, you start to forget about real people.

Obviously a per-conditional for borderline "porn addiction." A term I here more often than not crazy Christian fundies use. But I no longer dream of courting non digital or historical girls.

They aren't a blip on my radar.

Also Case is a pretty cool dude. Not the best person, but cool considering the Neuromancer circumstances. (Not really any good guys. ... Kind of like our world really.)

When you go through your whole life essentially with your whole existence betraying you, you no longer want non-digital girls. The worst is people like this one person on twitter that seeks to prescribe "boy boyism."

They went wrong by calling me a male.

Let me be completely lesbian to you. I reject French girls because most of the time in my experience, they confuse criticism of them and criticism of their government. This is literally worse than the neo conservatism of the United States.

You might be difference, but it doesn't change what I went through. You can't take that away.

And then,

We all die alone at the end, with ringing in the ears.

Kinks

Nothing like a good college girl bending over for a old fashioned paddling in the dean's office wearing Birkenstock clogs.

I love paddles and clogs.

Sex Isn't About Love

Sex has never indicated anything about love. Although in my case I do refuse in general to fuck girls who I don't personally love, but that's cause I'm not a heart breaker.

But yes if I were, I'd totally have a French girl blow my lady cock until I eventually have sexual reassignment surgery. In which case it will be switched to using a dildo or licking my bean.

But as we all know that's also very bad for the mental health of a girl, and in some cases even guys. You don't just ask for a blowjobs, expect not to give her head. And then just exit her apartment.

Sex is a commitment, and usually for me assumes I do love you. That's why I haven't had sex of my own accord yet.

I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to anyone. Fucking a girl without caring for their mental health is just douche.

I wouldn't even pay for a prostitute, that money is going back through tax dollars into an institution that had decapitated women in the 1800s. Why would I want to support that.

Digging severed heads not withstanding. Just cause I like heads, doesn't mean I condone the practice.

Even if I do have a raging boner from thinking about French girls giving foot jobs and being guillotined. Or wearing wooden sabots.

The Mid Writing Blues

One halts their composition,
Instead waiting for inspiration to hit,
Asking for an idea should not be an inquisition,
When you go to rest your weary eyes.

The dream world can be an influence,
One need not be of affluence.
Instead one needs a heart of gold,
And a story one desires to be told.

Because you can do it,
I believe you,
No go and write your story.

I Stand By The Comparison

French is basically Texas of the EU, and England is a little better at being the Tennessee of the EU.

In fact, according to my room mate, that's why a lot of people from Tennessee sound very slightly British.

To bad I don't associate with Tennessee. I mean when you lived in NashChat as long as I have, you wouldn't either. There are trans women that actually go missing and are murdered.

If I continued to live there, I wouldn't have much time left.

Yet all people can complain about is whether someone is a jerk and not why that person may be a jerk, and doesn't trust others.

Why Shielding Eyes Is Bad

Shielding the eyes of little boys and girls from seeing other boys and girls be beheaded on a guillotine is bad for one major reason, if they actually witnessed first hand the horrors of decapitation you might actually have young people motivated to pursue social justice if one of their childhood playmates (or best friends if in high school) was decapitated.

Just a thought, over protective parents? Might motivate ending capital punishment, hardly a bad thing for society to do.

I still think there should always be capital punishment in literature in the 19th century, otherwise if one doesn't see the horrors of capital punishment how are we as a society to know the death penalty is bad?

I am anti-death penalty and also anti-censorship.

You'll find a lot of the people who are pro-capital punishment are also pro "protecting the sanctity" of childhood as well. It might just be an American thing though.

Feeling Very Slipstream: Or Why I Love Saving Mr. Banks

The movie Saving Mr. Banks taught me something could technically be set during an historical time period, and include different sections of a MC's personal history. It also shows you can keep the essence of someone without being absolutely true to their life story.

Imagine if writers did this with American and French history, or even German history--or I wear birkenstocks with white socks history, or the history of the Japanese during imperialism.

History is more of a time line to me as someone who likes retro futurism, I never understood the point in stories limiting themselves to historical fiction. I mean as innovative as J.G. Ballard was, one of his last novels was in fact largely an autobiographical fiction of being British in China.

With slipstream combining elements of horror, the fantastical, science fiction, historical, elements of autobiography, and historical biography, the world literally is at your finger tips.

Saving Mr. Banks shows this can work, but also adding elements of childhood wonder and magic.

Good job Disney, one of few good movies you ever did.

I still want to listen to an uncut version of those P.L. Travers tapes.

Now lets go write some true crime stories that have a very Feeling Very Slipstream feel. My favorite for now is Boeglin.

https://splintercultgirl.wordpress.com/2016/07/30/feeling-very-slipstream-or-why-i-love-saving-mr-banks/

Distinctions

"Personal Retro-Futures" is a very difficult area to define, because on one level it is highly autobiographical, but also about events that could happen in the future without ever happening, and also about some characters from periods of history that never existed in your personal time lime.

That's way pushing my work onto an editor would be some hard, as I'd rather not be in the position to deal with having to explain what parts are autobiographical, what parts are autobiographically futuristic, what parts are based on true histories but set in the future of your own time line, and what parts are "personal futures" of Anna-Marie Boeglin's or Anna Frank's family, which is even harder to define in exact words.

This is a lot of the reason Transrealism is such a difficult genre to write in, is it requires a bunch of different kind of skill sets and habits some find annoying in autobiographical, science fiction and fantasy, horror, and historical fiction on an individual level.

I imagine this is also why Kurt Vonnegut had trouble as well, because you're dealing with a book that has authenticity that can't quite be limited to autobiographical or fiction.

It used to be stuff of a very Transrealistic nature were just considered part of mainstream literary canon. Although not saying it was utopic in the eighteen hundred either, as you had rich white men also determining what was publishable to a largely rich white male audience.

Spasmic Wilting

Shudders

Oh Shudders,

Shaking...

     You in

     Shudders,

     Wilting.

Shake

About in

Shudders...

     Shake

     About all

     Night.

Wilt and fall onto the ground,

Wilt and fall, fall and pound into the ground.

Wilt and fall into your face.

And then say sorry for wilting, wilting, and wilting.

As one falls as a disgrace.

Wish the

dream go

away...

     Yet they

     Can’t cause

     hate...

Is what

they feel for

you...

     Reminders of another time.

Wilt and fall onto the ground,

Wilt and fall, fall and pound into the ground.

Wilt and fall into your face.

And then say sorry for wilting, wilting, and wilting.

As one falls as a disgrace.

Some consider me spasmic,

Others quite orgasmic,

Yet I am nothing, nothing at all.

You blog cause you love it,

Or have no other option to communicate.

Promises

Sometimes if you care so little,

You whittle your dates to so little.

Sometimes if you care to much,

You’ll prefer to date the dutch,

Instead of dating them all.

For the crying old woman,

Who lived in a shoe,

Only taught one how to paint a world,

Yet if she were one of them,

You would tell her to shoe.

Because one lives alone,

With no want or care in the world,

Drinking iron and spilling blood on your face.

Others viewing one as a disgrace.

And yet beyond Purgatory road,

There are promises to behold,

To end the meat space life.

If one can chill out, and not give a shout,

One can find themselves a wife.

It Drives Me Nuts,

I have to avoid certain topics just to keep some air of civility on wattpad. I'm tired of having to be the one that brushes the topic in another direction, just so I don't have to talk about my unresolved issues.

I'm emotionally so done with that, and yet part of my is drawn to said threads, just to understand my own feelings.

And then when you let those feelings build up, people act like your some horrible bitch for letting it all hang out.

No wonder some writers just blog.

Poe is celebrated by the French, for me that be like the ultimate downer ending.

Oh but,

Don't worry about what happened in previous centuries you've never been or experience, said the sociopath nobody cared about. Because apparently not being there means it shouldn't turn your stomach.

Having things,

Set in a nation whose government you hate kind of saps the enjoyment you hate for stories you used to love growing up, whether that's Phantom or Count Cain Saga.

Sour grapes, I know.

The feeling is similar to supporting work you know was written by a slave master that paddled their slaves.

It may be great work of art, but it still comes from a country that beheaded in the eighteen hundreds, when it was on its way out in other European countries.

Yea I do have a lot of mixed feelings about French, how could you tell?

Oh I'll fuck Christine. I'll always fuck a French girl.

Like beheading isn't something I normally associate with the 19th and 20th centuries, except in like Germany and France.

Having something set in a country I hate can really taint my feelings about works of art sometimes.

Like this is the country that didn't separate from the EU only because England got there first. And I'd rather associate with England.

Fuck you Wattpad,

Fuck you for trying to tempt me with vitriolic feelings I have for French (as in the nation of France--you Mauritians are OK) people. You know damn good and well I have mixed feelings about the French.

I can easily move my stuff to Upliterate if I really wanted to.

It was one of those chapters,

Where when I read the section where girls where beheaded and their heads carried around, I felt slightly turned on. And yet when I read Forgotten Juliet, now that was a fucking heart breaker right there. He never even got to fullfil his promise to her.:/

Manga can give you all sorts of mixed feelings. I don't even think Kaori Yuki was trying to turn me on with the decapitation one, I just have an unhealthy fascination for heads.

Heavenly Reaper Song

Sometimes one neglects their love,

Two girls who loved you long,

And yet for their sake you leave them alone,

Because you would rather say so long.

To give into to love, is to give into heartbreak,

When you sing the Grim Reaper’s song.

For the girls are angels, and yet treated not,

And the bell tunes to its angelic song.

In the prison they wait for death,

Hearing strange voices by stranger men,

And hop to God, if they so believe in him,

That they won’t be hurt again.

So they make small talk to cope,

While hoping against the hopeless hope,

To be blessed by the pope.

Instead their dresses become mud.

And I wait regretted, for the girls I once loved,

To instead wait for their demise.

I’d rather them be dead, then deal with my lies,

As I lie to myself about hating them and their lives.

And yet I still cry, when the blades takes their lives,

And the blood squirts on my face.

Because those angels, lost to time,

Could have been treated as royal by me,

Listening to folk songs, of metal and rhyme.

So I wait for death by their headstone,

And for the heavenly reaper song.